I walked to an art shop and spend a literal fortune for Christmas, Canvases, pastels, watercolors, pencils the works. For me and my kid, what a better way to detox from the pc and get the creative juices flowing? What better Christmas present to get over the fact I was divorcing, and I had lost my job?
Weeks of back and forth with the andels office had stopped with a mail I received by the boss of the company stating " here, we speak danish, if you want answers, you will write to us in danish"
I was hurt, it was humiliating and disrespectful, especially since his employee had assured me it was ok to write in English.
But I did not lose my cool, I wrote back:
"What do you mean by here? The country or your company? Because you may speak danish, however your inner communication is not that hot", and I forwarded the mail of his employee. I never heard back. No apologies.
Around the same time my lawyer, the person supposedly fighting for me, charged me 30000kr for mails rectifying his mistakes in a letter he insisted to send to my soon to be ex.
In the letter he would say things I never said, and I was willing to believe it was his bad English, until I saw that for every mistake and rectification I sent, he charged me, going over the 12000 kr initially agreed on the mail, and with a clause to be paid in 30 days, or I would pay interest, despite our agreement to pay him after we would sell the house.
I felt used, betrayed and taken advantage of my situation, but after going to legal aid, I realized other than writing letters there is not much anyone can do, so I made a deal to pay him 1000 kr each month for the next 3 years or so. I hope he spent it all on damages on his home, that fucker.
At the same time, I had people hanging up on me when they heard me speak English at the commune and skat, and when I complained in writing, with my name and address, I was informed that my complaint would be revised by the colleagues of said person, and they would decide if there was any merit. I would get no names, but the person I complained about, would. " But you can withdraw your complaint" was the solution offered. Which I did of course. How many battles could I get into?
So I needed a good lift me up and to get lost into my world. Forget the danish husband, the danish lawyer and focus on us. My pride could use a break.
I spent a good hour choosing blocks and everything I found interesting to explore, when the owner of the shop came closer as I was going to to pay ( over 2500 krs worth of merchandise) and said without a smile:
- You are in Denmark, why don't you speak Danish?
My head exploded.
-My money is Danish. Do you want it?
Something in my expression must have ticked him off because he forced a smile and tried to explain himself but I was not listening.
That guy was getting a huge sale from me and still he tried to scold me for not speaking danish. It was not about me, who I was. It was about their inability to speak English, for some. It was about the fact they feel their country invaded by foreigners for others.
It's about their pride in free healthcare and studies, when they dont understand that the foreigners keep their economy afloat. Yes, a student gets 5000 kr per month to study, but that student will bus tables, scrub toilets, and work, because that 5000 barely suffice for a room. During the two years that student will be here, he or she will have to eat, buy clothes, generate income that he or she will spend. For each student that graduates, the schools are getting paid. It is a well oiled money making machine.
But because students and foreigners are not included, not really, at the big table- unless they are still married to a Dane, or invited by a big company, the majority of students leave after their studies, disappointed, hurt that they were never given a real chance to integrate and doomed to move about in their ethnic communities, so there is the micomception among certain nationals that foreigners come, study and leave. Come and take. When in fact it is a fair trade while it lasts, more or less.
Are the Danes racists? I believe all people are to some extent. I have seen it everywhere, although to a different degree of hate. I also believe most people do not accept it and want to believe they are better. But in all honesty, if you are a Dane, how many foreign friends do you have and see on a regular basis? And if you are a foreigner, what is the ration of Dane friends you have vs the ones of your community? You may be an exception, but if these things above happened to me ( and some more that I omitted), you can understand where my impressions come from and why. And I doubt I was the only one stumbling on to the only idiots in town.
So my conclusion, is that the Dane won't kill you for your skin color and wont beat you up, but he will exclude you of many things, not out of hate, but perhaps out of lack of interest to have you around. Which is a pity because we could learn so much from each other. But, when you don't have Danes to talk to, or a non manual job to go to, how do you expect anyone to learn the language?
Or even want to, at some point?